2011 is gone, 2012 will be here

In 2011, I have had my share of ups and downs.  I have been down and out.  People have wrote and talked about me.  At one point I felt lost and out of place around my family, and even some of my friends.  

But Dear God, I'm here!

This year has taught me a lot of things, and I was both humbled and grateful.   I accept everything that happened to me in 2011, and have no regrets about it.  There is a reason that I went through the burning sands in 2011.  The struggle is going to make me stronger.  The changes will be coming in 2012.  A fresh start awaits me.  A new day has begun.   I have learned more about me this year than any other year in my years on this side of the dirt.  This year, I have learned what made me tick, and learned to stop holding my tongue (like I ever stopped in the first place).   

I stopped doing New Years Resolutions a long time ago because I will always be broken by the time my birthday comes around in April.  I have my lifemap posted to my wall, and every goal marked off.  Things that I did not complete in 2011 will be done this year.  I have a dream to be my own boss, and that will take fruition this year.  


(ame futte chi katamaru) Literally: after the rain, earth hardens 
This means: Adversity builds character./After a storm, things will stand on more solid ground than they did before.

This year, 2011, was my season of rain.  In 2012 my earth will harden under my feet and I will be standing on solid ground.  If you loved me, I loved you.  If I was your friend or family, then I will continue to be the same person.   If you talked about me, good or bad, I see it as free publicity.  If you hated me, you probably didn't understand me or didn't take the time out to get to know me. 

Stars Girl

You know I am listening to the song by Tank called "Stars Girl".  He talks about how he ran into a chick that chose to live the life of being a groupie.  Here is an excerpt of the lyrics...

 

Don't act like you ain't seen the videos
Don't act like you ain’t heard the songs
Don't act like you change, you ain't different hoe
Motives still all wrong

Always felt attracted to the paper
Attracted to the goons....the hustlers and the shakers
Rappers couple singers....some Dodgers and some Lakers
Yeah, everybody knows you by name
You're a stars girl
You go with a few but you're good at what you do
You’re a stars girl
Always on the scene different camera every week
You’re a stars girl, yeah
And I can't front on how you look
The way you work it got me shook as a stars girl...stars girl
You fine girl...not a wife girl...but a stars girl

 

I had to rewind it a couple of times just to make sure.  The last line got me..not a wife girl but a stars girl.  

 

There are women out there that made their name in that manner (eg. Karrine Steffans..lying ho).  They began running with the crowd that allowed them to become popular and famous because they are on the arm of a baller.  At the same time, they are comfortable with being someone's ho for a few minutes until they find someone better.   But in the end, she will not be someone's wife, but just a ho to the stars.  

 

I'm sorry.  I would rather be a wife girl any day than a stars girl.